Here are some ways to start a stress management and resilience building program.
Begin a daily mindfulness or meditation practice. Beginning a new habit can be challenging. Remind yourself that it is in the space of discomfort that change and growth happen. START SMALL. Make it doable for yourself, if you overwhelm yourself and then don’t follow through you are bound to feel disappointed in yourself or even ashamed. So think about just 2-3 minutes a day to begin.
How to do it: Whether meditation or mindfulness, the first step is to simply bring yourself into the room - let your attention wander into the space and notice. Notice any sounds, temperature, quality of light or color, the feeling of the space and the feeling of your body in the space. Take your time. Slowly notice. Settle. Allow your mind to be exactly as your mind is. If it's busy, it's agitated, if it's tired. Allow it all. Just notice. Accept things as they are and continue to open your awareness to your surroundings and to your mind.
Next: find a comfortable position - even lying down or walking are ok, but traditionally meditation is done in a sitting position either in a chair, or the floor if you are on the floor think about finding a cushion for meditation that elevates your back body slightly to give support to your back and allows your knees to fall below the hips so your body can feel at ease. Lengthen your side body while relaxing your shoulders, bringing your shoulder blades down and back. Head and neck are aligned, relax.
Notice the natural rhythm of breath as your belly rises and falls with the breath. Nothing to do or change or fix. Just aware of breath and body moving with breath. The thoughts will come, this is the nature of mind. Just notice them and go back to your breathing. If resting your attention on breath is not comfortable, notice sounds. Try not to identify or label sounds, rather see if they can arrive and deconstruct - moving through auditory perception without the mind labeling. This takes time. No judgment. Just be with whatever is and notice.
There are abundant guided meditations available online, many are free, these can be wonderful to try as well.
If you don’t get to your practice in the morning, which is ideal - then even a minute or two of mindful walking even while going about your daily routine, counts! How to do this: Notice the sensation of socks on your feet, feet in your shoes, shoes on the ground, the sounds your steps make, the touch of the air against your skin, the smells or sounds that surround you. Open your senses and stay in the space of noticing without judging, no labeling, just being in awareness, noticing. If you are doing dishes, the sensation of the warm water and the fragrance of the soap, sound of the water and clanking of dishes. If you are climbing the stairs, the sensation of your body in movement, the sounds of your breathing, your footsteps, sensation of the handrail against the skin of your fingers, etc. These are examples meant to illustrate that you can make these practices your own and you can weave them into the activities of daily life to great benefit.
Opening to emotions and noticing your self talk are also very important in managing stress and building resilience. I will address these in detail in the next blog posts. But just allowing without judgment, whatever you feel, however irrational, nothing to do or change or fix, just noticing and allowing your feelings (not communicating them necessarily) just be with them. You will notice that emotions tend to lift when we open to them and spend time with them, maybe even noticing where they may be located in our bodies and noticing any thoughts that are in attendance as well.
You might even begin to realize that when you are uncomfortable you are growing and that rather than focusing on the discomfort you might try to consider the benefits of being pushed out of your comfort zone (even when things seem very negative). Although not easy, or even natural at first, this changing of perspective can become the first step that allows you to face the challenge, focus on the things you can control, which can lead to feeling less stressed and overwhelmed and even more hopeful.
Mind and Body are very tied together. What you eat, what you think, how you feel and the way you talk to yourself all have a big impact on your stress and resilience levels. Exercise often, but be gentle with yourself. Listen to your body and eat nutrient dense foods that agree with you. Drink lots of water. Be kind to yourself and gentle in your self talk. Try to stick with your mindfulness and meditation goals and try out audios too; they are a great resource.
Remember, when you change your mind, you change your world. Notice your thoughts, make room for simply being, stay gentle.